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Timothy Jian Smithson

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I am waiting in this borrowed time,
Wishing you will come;
The heart is pounding in pain and pressure,
You might leave and stay away...

What if I have to move on,
Taking chance on going away;
Empty heart and empty spaces beyond,
Foot prints of my heart's undone...

It's a living sacrifice to love-
Shedding tears and crying out;
For hear from you and see the smile,
My tons of tears run dry...

I am inlove a far cry from,
the "Karma"  from all I've done;
Bunch is more to come,
To test my faith on staying long...

I made this poem to show how i feel right now. How my heart pumps and giving love to someone who deserved not. But my heart beats fast and it's for him. I'm in pain. I'm tired. Yet my heart commands me to love him, whether he will spare me with love or not. It hurts. May this poem will kick my ass and slap my face..


Once my heart farts I know it would be silly not cry, shedding tears which sometimes leads me to make decision not to fall inlove again. Not to make myself fool off! It's impossible for me not to assume that being inlove is the most wonderful thing in this world. To fathom that having someone making you smile, laugh and cry is just so cool. This is the cycle which our lives as human being evolved. Our daily skirmish in life. My heart was blown away. The feeling of being attached to someone and knowing that your heart is overjoyed with the fact that everything is vital- falling into place. How I wish everything is just like this way.

But the route of life and love isn't the way we tend it must be. It's tricky. A lot of avenues you should stop from rolling over, not to quit but to discern, to stare and to grasp. To find some extra inspiration. It can be this way sometimes. How far the heart suffers from deprivation, from greediness of knowing how shallow and deep the happiness  is.

When I'm in love- I find hot singles  lurking. And if I'm alone, all people i see were sweet and happy couples. Laughing  and PDA. I could also relate this to all of you. Our insatiable craving on love is just inevitable..

Truly LOVE is crazy! Some says it's the sweetest thing. Some says it's unfair- what's the truth anyway?

Love is an act  of showing  your affection to someone who is dear with in your heart. It's complicated. It's rude and selfish sometimes. But it'll gonna make you stay alive. It gives you more reason to love and live. Because loving is a way of life.


Everybody has a movie favorite isn't it? Or  it is even movies. We love movies like women love clothes, shoes and bags. I personally take chances of getting some free tickets while working on a radio station before. Just you know, get some  free passes. LOL. Yes, i succeeded sometimes. For me, I have some movies which i admire the most. And i know for sure, some of this movies was your favorite as well. I love  life changing movies, adventures and love.

I envisioned my self being the lead role and being on that situation. It's either dealing with a huge snake, battling with a colleagues- (betrayer).

Movie somehow has the power to manipulate our minds, it also has the power to change life. It'll make you cry, mad and  feel excited. It'll lead you into some emotions which you cannot imagine you are in. The illusion itself carries great impact- negative or positive. It depends on the movie you were watching anyway. So here are my lists..

Sanctum : This movie has been posted in here twice as my post. I can't just get over with the fact that this movie is just so adorable. It's a father and a son story- their love for adventure.

The Legend of the Guardians : I love this movie so much! It's 3D. I was mesmerized by the plot.  The family related movie. Though they we're animals but still it's a family oriented one. It's natural in the family we have insecurities or being jealous to our brood. This movie is surely freaking awesome!

The Proposal : I'm a fan of Mr. Ryan Reynolds. He is just adorable. Women screamed. He's Hot!

The Perfect Getaway : Unlike other movies that you can already infer what's next. This one is a mind boggling one. You might think that those aggressive and loud ones where the enemies. But it'll  surprise you. So better watched this movie. Buy a dvd copy  of this. Surely fantastic.

This movie reminds me of how deep is the love of a father to his daughter. That he is willing to die just to save her beloved one. How i wished my Dad could act this way.

I love short movies as well. I will be bored if movie is just long and nonesense. So SIGNS is just a perfect example to those people who loose hope on finding someone to be the person they will share the rest of their lives. Love speaks no words, but it can pull off heavy  rains to fall.

 Okay, it's enough for now. I will update you. More movies that i love will be shared. Thanks Guys.


Truly I still have hang up with this video. I just wanna share this, i know it's already viewed by millions- but it's what i wanted to post. Philippines truly loves pageant! Go Philippines!


What's your plans for Valentines day?

Will you celebrate it at home, cuddling or having sex with your partner- bluntly said. Whoa, it's an awesome celebration anyway! Or you might bring your lover into some cozy places, where you both will enjoy music and shared the nostalgic moment of your lives. Movies, bar, restaurants,adventures- those were things we can do in celebrating Hearts'  Day.

Speaking of  movies, I just watched Sanctum and guess what guys it's  freaking awesome! the story evolved between a father and a son, the things that they never agree on both sides. But there's only one main point, they love adventures. Just that the Frank wanted to discover something greater, an adventure of a lifetime that would brought him into fame and fortune. And Josh thought it's unfair since he wanted to have any other adventure and he doesn't like caving. On this little rift they both never understand each other. Josh thought his dad is a self centered guy, trying to make things well, beyond the fact that he is already old. And Josh can't do things well, negligence is all in the mind of his dad.

The location of the movie is on the beautiful  Papua New Guinea. And there goes the mother of all caves, the Ela Cala- i don't know if i got  the name well. LOL. But it sounds like that though. Millions of years past, since this cave remained unexplored. Until the team of Frank arrived and wanted to conquer this unexplored one. The beauty of the nature,the forest circling it was just so amazing. But you will be more struck to find out how magnificent the cave is. Known as the mother of all caves- the Ela Cala shines like a star but its venom is just terrifying. the team decided to explored the area, somehow they would become Mr. Columbus or Neil Armstrong. Quite amazing plan. Everything is well- when suddenly storm hit the place, some of the team out in the crater we're trying to contact Frank and his team back down there to get out. But seems the journey turns into hell. the radio went off and they cannot traced it back. So until such time- the team heard annoying sound and a heavy water flashing down. They rushed to get back up, but the water hovers the place and a  great stone was being stuck on its way, they forced to go down to find a way to get out and save their lives from the pit.

This is the story of survival. The battle of love and friendship. Of  fortune and fame. The adventure of a lifetime, to get what you dreamt- life of people you loved would be bartered.

A movie to be recommend!


It feels like very day is a whirlwind day,
Everybody mourn, inside and out,
Love seems inevitable in this place;
Death and selfishness we can grasp...

Looking back on the peacefulness i dreamt,
The stillness of the night i wished
The flickering lights of joy has gone
 I can see it no more- but tears...  

Now tears and grudge rampant
Greediness and hunger hovers
Where love is impossible to bear
Sadness and tremor all i can see...

The sun  shines no more
Love sparks no more
Pray is all i can do
Have faith is all believed...

I pray that you will be safe,
I pray that there will be better days to come
I pray that peace will take over
I pray that you will pray.....


Most of my friends here, wondering why i deleted my blog for  HIV/AIDS. I never actually take it away from my life, since it is important. I just find another site to put in there and start building it. So to speak- i need to transfer it.

I want that blog to gain confidence and eagerness to show to the world the battle of people who are facing this world afraid of being noticed and afraid to say a word about their condition. Well, it's pretty normal,since people think that HIV/AIDS is contagious. Uh oh! Shallow thinker does. But we who knows  and to those people who read a lot, they tend to help these peer and uplift them. Great words  we're being given to make them feel comfortable. And I salute those friends who did it.

Since i got new work, and that is "research and monitoring" for DOH here in Davao city.  My main agenda is to help and give awareness to people about HIV/AIDS, how it affects our lives, how vehement is this virus and how terrifying to have this. Admittedly it is terrifying. That's why, the United Nation give millions of dollars to  prevent this epidemia from scattering all over the world. In Davao city alone, the numbers of HIV/AIDS positive reached the maximum percentage which DOH thought won't be. But the awareness itself  is not really active and powerful to make  an eye turn and see. That's even worse than having HIV.

My task is to spread the news, to give education and trainings to men especially gays,bisexuals and homosexuals. I have given free condoms to be given to these types of people. And ofcourse "Encouraging them to get tested." So the battle continues. In preventing HIV/AIDS from spreading, and preventing people who we're  infected from the stigma they we're getting from the society.

For those people who wants to contribute and share their stories and stories or their friends,we are open to  accept it and posts it on  REACTIVISM .Please visit this site and add it on your blog roll.

Thanks for reading!



We have so many hang ups in life, we faced a lot of struggles in family, peers and ofcourse our battle against the odd. We thought that life is unfair. And  we become obsessed on being emotional. We become freak. Weird in  outfits, self centered and adopting on hellish words. We are battered by time!

Having this issue is not easy. World treats you as bitch- a person whom nobody loved. It is hard to stay this way. Our lives is just a shit.

We are greedy to find love and to express our feelings, instead of having someone to listen to our clamor, they become odd and dragged us down. In that we become hopeless of finding really love, that optimistic people says it exists. We are battered again and again.

We are strong in outside appearance but terrified inside and beyond. Nowhere to go. I just wanna share this newest Video of Pink about this such kind of life.

Watch and reflect.

Thank you!
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