It was a sudden death, I couldn't believed you're gone and will never be seen forever. It brought me into tears, I swear the whole world stopped! I was deaf, mum, and shocked. I still couldn't believed that as simple as diarrhea will lead you to death. It's been a while since we talked, I was busy and also suffering from depression and fear. I was afraid, you might got mad and throw words which will lead us into fighting   again. I planned to talk to you, and apologize for what I have done wrong and what I have created- the damage, the pain and the insults  you received from me.

I wanna hear you talking and giving me advices , inspires me somehow. Telling me  "I can do it". Telling me life is good- and it is too short to mourn. I wished I could still hear you, I wish I could still see your smile and be filled with your undying great thoughts. Your smile always reminds me to do good. Your kindness lead me into doing it to others as well. You encouraged me to read more books, discover lots of things in this world. And to maximize the goodness of life.