I was thinkin' what would be is my journey again, on the next two  months of this year. Since most of it was a mess, 'twas unproductive in a sense i couldn't gauge what to do, staying in the house was my hobby, reading books, sometimes hopping with friends, write on blog and so on and so for. The routine was kinda annoying for me.

So i started to lean back and figuring out what is the best thing to do, to maximize this two more months of this year. I was thinking of having a vacation, gosh! got no budget for it- why then staying with friends and do a lot of escapades, whoa, that would be hard again- a whole bunch of unproductiveness. The first blast of this year, was really terrific strolling in this big city without anything to do, my job was on and off. Got a lot o offers but it turned out to be nothing. I was making some fun of my self, that i myself couldn't find it well and good to have. Lending money, i never used to it anyway, trying my luck.

Then there goes a  lot of "rakets" but it is not enough for me to live, i got a lot of hang ups again and again. Jesus, what the heck was happening to me.

I was floating on a lake, i was stagnant to be specific. I felt tired of my life, i waste it really bad.

At this moment while writing this post, i am in this room where everything are visible, the alluring freshness of the air makes you feel better, as the hand of the tree moves, it is like a dream which is invincible. Ropes are red, signifies the life of being young and vibrant inside and out. The clouds shine as the ray of the sun hits every area of it. As the darkness slowly coming down, seems it would be another festive moment that every human should share. Every struggle were all worth it, they were all treasured in a box that as i gaze up on it i could reminisce every passages which i stumble and learned from it.

First blast of trials, i messed up. But everything happened for a reason- to make us mature in the battle of life. For every guts and every trick we did there would be corresponding lesson we get from. So we better do positive things, maximize kindness and share the love. Because once these thing will hold up, we cannot get them back and do thesame routine as they did. Every sprout of the morning sun, you have time to think back that "life is worth living".....

We must learn to appreciate the beauty that we have,  find great friends, inspire people and we have to find inspiration as well, on what we do, on every day life. As we struggles, let us always think that it might be tricky to solve, but that is a jargon to make us believed "we exists  in the world of the living"...  That everything in this world would come and go, we cannot stick from the past, nor lean on the present but we should never be afraid for our future. As old ones says "let the future problem itself"...

I summed up with this quotes:

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.”

Happy Halloween!

My life my rules, it is something that i never aimed to have in my life, trying to stand in a distance where nobody wanted to be in there. The heart that is full of pain.


The father:

Most of the children in this world admired their father, for being generous, protective and their great provider in food, money,and love. This is the attitude of an ideal father, a dad and a friend. Somebody who is willing to help to share what he had learned in life and ofcourse someone who will never tolerate you if you did some mistakes. A loving  and a just dad-

Growing up in a remote area is not an easy task or i would life for me. i never dreamed of having a great life, car,expensive gadgets, or studying in a private school. what am i trying to look for is a father figure, a father that would be your refuge during the time that you are weak and can fight no more, but that was just a dream, a dream that i dreamed not to woke up.

Violent,brutal and lazy-  an attitude of a snake, this is how i describe my father to you, inconsiderate,cheater and vehement one. It hurts to have this kind of description of someone you love,someone that you thought a good person. But to lie and deny is not my forte. We suffered a lot of violence from him, i remember the time that he was chasing my mom,carrying his stick that i know would end up moms' life. It was a horrible experienced, sadly he found my mom in the middle of the bush then "punched and kicked" was the reward of  it. She was bloody and catching her breath,crying i thought that my mom we're going to die. Seeing that  demoniac bearing was not easy for me.  The pain and the hatred started to grew, it is like a roaring lion,my emotion was bothered, i am shaking and the innocence was gone. All i have with in me is fear and the hatred that one day i will get back and revenged.

As the days passed, and counting more and more years, sometimes i wished that another day will never showed up, or i will die during the night. Its silence never gave me peace instead it gives me fear, while the wound remained fresh knowing that i takes time to be healed.  An experienced that led me to become more aggressive and violent, at school and in the community where i grew up. Selfish, greedy and close minded person.

Although i excel in school, famous in my words and students we're afraid of me, i remained empty, and no happiness to be found in my heart. I become more aggressive and noisy. I even talked to my principal so damn delirious, so it brought me down. From the position in school and in my grades in Values. I don't care of what am i doing, as long as i express what i feel inside, for me it was my refuge, by telling people that i deserved to gain your respect and you should respect me according to what my life is. Sorry? i had no time for that matter. The pain grew bigger and bigger, and took over the huge part of my happiness. I became immune with my parents cat fights, hellish words  we're my breakfasts, lunch and dinner. My family wasn't totally broken, but that i time i wished it is...

Gusto kung bumalik sa kung saan ang buhay ko'y tahimik, na walang gulo, isang taong walan muwang sa kung anu ang tinatawag na socialization. Isang taong ang hangad lamang ay mag kapera at mabuhay ng matiwasay. Walang gulo, inaalala, no insecurities,intimidation at kung anu anu pa man.

Isa akong tao na nangarap mabuhay at mabago ang buhay,tulad ng ibang kabataan na gustong mabago ang tingin sa sarili,mabago ang tingin ng magulang sa isang anak. Na mawala na ang kanilang pag dududa na di ko kayang mabuhay ng magsasarili. Isang buhay na pinapangarap kong tirhan,walang mga masasamang implowensyang sisira sa mga pangarap at buhay ng isang katulad ko. Katiwasayan at payapa and kailangan.

Nag simula akong mag trabaho sa edad na 15, sa edad na to' akoy naging isang "house boy" you might think i lived life with silver spoon or what ever you call it or a definition of rich brat kid. " I AM NOT"

I am the youngest of the two, my mom had previous family before our family started, so we are 3 included her daughter in her first husband. I lived in a remote area which most of us Filipinos lived. Remote, a place of people who has  one goal in life," to live one day at a time" but to understand it deeply, it would definitely explains like this way  " as long as they can eat three times a day life will continue, let the tomorrow problem itself ". A shallow explaination of one's life, an epitome of laziness.

Growing up in the situation where most kids doesn't have plans to go to school, instead waking up in the reality of buckling up yourself to work and work for food and for the family. My father was a graduate of martial arts take note " a deadly black belter"  an example of a strong man who is willing to protect his family from danger, from people who might hurt his loveones.  Well it would be wonderful to think of, it that is the outcome of his profession.

A battered son, flying walls was just normal for me,the annoying sound of a drunken master was always my alarm clock, an alarmed which i dream to stop forever, and will tick and tack! Dreaming of becoming somebody was always in my heart, to change my life and my family is my passion. Unlike other kids i am very observant, outspoken and hard headed, i am willing to fight even though it was my fault. Most of my classmates in school hates me, they don't like the way i act and rule the life that i have. In short i am bitter! A bitter person with a huge dream to achieved in life, a dream that would definitely changed my life.

But to achieved it, it takes time and a huge effort, sacrifices and challenges to tackled and to be faced. As a young kid, many people asked why i am so bitter, arrogant and not easy to be with, i can make the world cry for me to be justified, furthermore i can make thousands of lies to make this world believed i am innocent. And ofcourse as villain i always won the battle. I don't care if i would lose friends, but for me i would lived life according to what i wanted it to be. My life my rules!

Wait for the part 2

When we got mad we used those nasty words that it is so bad to hear. The people around us, especially those ignorant about those words, and hate them. They might think that how worst we are as a person. Those words that really describes the way we are and how do we live our life in this world.

I write this topic just to show how desperate i am with the people who never control their mouth and their fingers to throw those so called "hell words" to somebody, though sometimes it is jokes but the tendency or hurting somebody is really in there. I guess the discipline is really important for our selves. There were people who just love these words and throw unto you, that my God! I don't like it, and i will never ever liked it!

One of my friend posted some nasty pictures on his page. So terrific to see, I don't know if other young likes it. But for me I hate it...

So now, here is the question-

By doing it with your fingers, and saying it by your mouth. Is it just an expression, or a reflection of your own real image as a person?

- look at the picture upstairs.. is it good?

Admittedly once you are excited to one thing that you really shouting for, you will do things just to get it. You will be willing to sacrifice things, especially your studies. And most of the time you are willing to pursue it in order to get what your heart shouting for.

So now here is the thing-

You dreamed to join a competition, and that competition is really precious to you. You always put in your mind that one day you will be there and the world will know you. That you are good enough and you can make it to the top. It is like ( AMERICAN IDOL).. So until you grow up and grow up, you instilled in your mind that you will be there one day. And you do all the effort to make your self ready for that competition. If it is ( AMERICAN IDOL) you always practice singing, belting and showing your singing prowess to people, you join singing contest,to make it that your confidence is boosting up, so that one day it will gonna be easy for you to faced millions of crowd that will be watching you performing. It is a great preparation huh..

Then the time comes, the audition for ( AMERICAN IDOL) is coming into your place, and since that is your dreamed competition you go and try your luck. You are crazily excited! Whoah, things will gonna be coming true this day. ( i'm goin' to HOLLYWOOD)... Then so awesome you were accepted because you got a wonderful soully voice. So that goes, you reached the place of Tinseltown. The magnificent Hollywood. You are pretty excited, you will be facing those judges that will determine if you will be the next American idol. The horrible SIMON COWELL and the rest. Whoah, mixed emotions.

So the time comes, that you will be performing live and they will determined if you can go to the next week. Your performance is good, the judges said it is okay. And you are happy for that great comment, but SIMON COWELL said it is a "HORRIBLE PERFORMANCE, AND HE DON'T THINK YOU CAN STILL GO TO THE NEXT WEEK PERFORMANCE". Oh, you are sad, but you keep the determination firing so that you will be cool and think positive. All contestants done performing, and you notice that you are the only one who got a negative comment. (oh, what are you thinking right now? is it the end of your journey?)

And so that goes, the judgement day. You look unto the mirror and breath. The perception still in tacked and you know, you won't be voted out. hmmmmmmmmmmm... The names had called and only the 3 of you remaining, gush, your heart is telling you ( i guess this is the end, keep repeating) So the name of your co contestant was IN! And only 2 of you remaining. You are still relaxed and calm. You will be in, that is what is in your mind.

When suddenly, you are not the one who called to continue for the next week performance. All of your dreams seems fled away. And you felt so bad, you wanna shout and cry so loud! As long as you can... You wanna kill your self. Your dreamed! You are shouting for this, and there is no chance of going back.

How can you dealt with it:

everyday?
every night?
every week?
and your emotions?
your dream?

P/S: What shall you gonna do?

FOR EVERYDAY IS ADVENTURE....

Life must be enjoy.... live life to the fullest

Life must must be happy... share thoughts with friends

Life must be glorious... a glory from God will always makes your day bright...

Life must have a smile... smile makes the day good and wipes away tears...

Life must have problem.. problem is always our shadow...


Life must accept challenges... accepting challenges makes you better person

Life must be cherished.... be thankful for the life that you have now..

Life must be praised.... praised your life and the achievements

FOR EVERYDAY IS ADVENTURE.....

Day must be productive... buckle up and make the best for this day..

Day must be awesome.... smile and smile and smile..

Day must be exciting... when you woke up in the morning perception
must be positive..

Day must be interesting... looking back with the experience that you

been through...
Day must have new friends.... having newly found friend is good, chose
the good one...

Day must have the blessing from God! Say thank you to God, for your life and
praised Him, for the great work he had
done to your life..

For everyday is adventure..... So make the best out of it!!!

I was surfing on the Internet a while back,looking for some new friends that would possibly gonna add to my friends list. A friends that would be real in all ways of friendship should be. Well, many people wishes to find real friends that would be true to them and make them smile when they were sad. And I am one of those people.

Dreaming to find a real and true one is really hard in this world. Life that has a constant change. Life that move with out any notification for you to know where the directions is. Such sucking up.
Too bad for me, because I did suffer it.

I was surfing as I had said, finding friends online, and hoping to meet them as well. And start a friendship that would gonna be cool,for the years to come. When I browse to move to another page, I land in a good profile of one guy that makes me curious about his life. An arrogant one, and I think boastful. But since I am looking for a new one,so I just let my self to be patient for me to make friends with him. And that was good idea,cause it happens that we became friends.

So we started our good conversation, sharing some ideas about life and schools, seems things was getting closer. When I asked him if I could visit him tonight. And he said sure, I can visit him. So a while back, I went to his house. It was rainy night and flood was so terrific but still i went to his house and met him. So far so good, the conversation itself, laughing here and there. Until we reached perfume topics. He asked me of what kind of perfume I am using, I asked him why?
He said he just wanna know, but instead of letting him to let me talk, he stopped me and tease me, like I am bitch. Or a stupid one! He was trying to derailed me that since I am using cheap brand of perfumes, and he laughs so loud. I don't know what kind of feeling that I got,feel so embarrassed about it. I look unto my self, and think was so damn. I was really embarrassed.

He asked me, what makes me so silent? But I said I am just thinking about his life in the near future and telling him that something will gonna happen to him great. He was happy, I did it just to change the topic of our non sense conversation. Well it was changed, but it never changes how I feel inside. I was really hurt. It is something that makes my heart crying, felt insulted and got pissed off. The pain that I felt inside keeps telling me to show how insulted I was. Smiling with him and even doing some friendly moves and all the stuff, stopped me from doing it.

Felt so bastard,felt so damn. So I just deiced to leave him alone and go home. He sends me out side of his house. I learned that meeting up some body to become new friends would be hard. The attitude and your self as well. Adjustments counts a lot.

My friends were chilling when we were talking about sex thingies. Some liked it, and some hate it. Different perception about the word SEX. What is on their mind I guess they were the only one knew it. But one thing I had noticed that every time we talked about that matter, they will be staring at me, and tease. Not because I got lots of experienced,but because of those opinions that I'd shared to them. They seemed became more interested,conscious about it. Eye popping topic.

So they asked me personal question,the experienced that I had. No doubt I did answer them. I don't know if they find it nasty or interesting answer. But I my self, just tell them the real things about my sex life. That became vice,became my name tag.

Every time we have our conversation, we cannot deny the fact that there were always a possibility to open up a steamy and crazy dirty talked. And they even ask me about the update of my sex life. How terrific it was. But they were my friends, so let them know that it is okay. Flowing smoothly. LOL.

That was the reason why they called me SEX GURU. Is that a nice name?

whoah, such awesome to do this.lol, doing some quickie and juicy with partner.
a while back, i visit my love in his house, because it's been 5 days we haven't see each other.
so i decided to meet and go their house. maybe to relax and of course to see if hes okay.
well am happy, that he is, really cool still handsome and good looking.lol
I said that because i am just proud of him.
while sitting on their living room, the house maid left us alone, oh.. and went to her room. so it's our chance to hug each other, because of course we missed each other. he hugged me so damned good!
feels like heaven....
oh, great thing happen, we kissed torridly! i think it lasted for 5 minutes. feels so good, plus factor!
whoah! the temptation comes along with us both. he touched my{you know}lol
so that goes! it lead us to a different dimension, and as what couple usually do.
OF COURSE WE DID OUR OWN TOO!
so good, if you love somebody. and that's me. i love him..
the quickie thing happen, we make it fast, thinking that might be their maid would caught us in the act. {sayang naman} we shared, and blown up! needs to go out what is needed to.
at the end it is successful!

I am who i am
I do what makes me happy
I live for me
not you.
You may not agree with me
But i am not seeking
your approval.
I am happy with all that
I AM...

Its been a while I haven't found the good one- I think to my self that maybe it will just come in a right and accurate time. So then there were lots of things that happened along the way. Hindrances
and sometimes a bad experience when we talk about love.

All I can say" I just waste my time for the past relationship that i had. Its all worthless to think".

Some lessons that I learned, on how to handle and make relationship works in a wonderful way as it must be always. Though challenges counts a lot, we must think that it is a part of our struggle to make relationship flows well in the middle of its time.

Learning to love some one is the most tiring thing to do. But when you both willing to be open and make love to flow in a possible way,it would be wonderful to think of. And when you see how far you did go, such a nicest treasure to be own.

As I learned to love maturely, without any doubts nor hesitations to someone that is willing to give and spare time with me, all I can say " I did grow up, when it comes managing relationship and let it grow as it must be always".

Definitely, I AM THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. BECAUSE I FOUND SOMEONE WHO COULD BE WITH ME, AND WILLING TO SPARE TIME WITH ME. WE BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER AND I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL LAST. FOR WE HAVE THE FAITH AND LOYALTY TO BOTH OF US!

By the way i would love to introduce to you my love BUDZ-

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY THAT I FOUND YOU. THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE AND THE TRUST. YOUR SMILE WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST. IT ALWAYS HEALS MY PAIN. THANK YOU BUDZ- I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE....

Working as a call center agent is a tough decision to be made. A strong feeling, a fighter, performer, competitor and have the ability to make and produce a sale. In order to work in this one of a kind industry, you have to surpassed rigid training, you must be a highly trainable agent to compete with colleagues.
It is an industry of hard work,smart ,patience, confidence,wise, and a determination that at the of the shift you made what is necessary, and that is to make a sale. You must be an asset and a not a liability for other agent. It will jeopardize the category of your account. Taking calls, is not that easy, every people that you might talked over the phone were always different. Some are good, some are rude. There were always positive and a negative side of being in a call center industry. As i said at the top, it is one of the most tough work you will ever had. The moment that you were accepted in this job, would be the moment to be ready. It is not for the manager nor for the people working in here. But for your self. Because you your self is your number one enemy. It refers to your attitude, untidy to woke up late at night.
In this industry, you will be able to learn to be a good friend a follower and at the same time as a member of the team. Waking up late at night is not that easy, your body clock is really different.
Since they were receiving and calling costumers abroad, they must depend on their costumer's time.
You are intiltled to perform and that is to call and get your costumer's attention to buy what you are selling. To deal with them is another thing to be done. How to get their attention? How can you close a deal without any negativity that would lead them to hang up on you. Some tough agent says that making a succesful sale must be started in a wonderful introduction, which would switched costumer's mind like talking to an old friend. But somehow, in the middle of this conversation it is on you on how to introduce your product by not letting them know that they were purchasing something. It must be different to what sales man normally do. You need to build a rapport,be with them and fry them with their own delicious oil.
It is not a lie nor a scam but a trick on how to make a sale with out any reason for the costumer's to hang up.
We know that life is not always with you all the time. Sometimes you will experienced rejection.
And that is a part of a call center agent's life. Normally when you take calls, 70% of this were answering machines,voice mail, gate keeper and an arrogant business owners, the moment that you start introducing your name is the moment they hang up on you. Well it is normal, but sometimes agents bacame rude. And they do what costumers normally did to them as well. I think that is really terrible. In the middle of the conversation you must be a captain of your own ship. To know where to land, it depends on how you bring it to the end. Hassle is always a part of it, annoying sounds, costumer's excuses and their questions that would possibly ended up the call.
It is always said that being in a battle, you must have the weapon, to sustained in the terrific way of action. A nerve wracking objections, husky voices, and sometimes a stupid negative, and a close minded people that never look unto positive side of your offer. Well agents cannot blamed them, nor force them to go through, might be a bad experience or they were just all set. It is a stepping stone, once you reach on the peak and never get it through, well no sad- you must be happy for that is one step to close a deal. It is just like a pen, you need to sharpened your weapon and that is to learn more and associate with people who could help you to ended your call with a sale..It is always wonderful to have a sale, but it is great to experienced sometimes a rejections to make you more determined and to persevere to finish it with a great smile in your face.
Admittedly agents were paid to perform, make a sale. But you cannot brag things, make it into a possible way to make a sale. Just set your mind, sleep and maybe later this next big thing you can have it. It is not always a rain of blessings, you are intitled to make a sale, but consideration counts.
Absolutely awesome, if you did make a sale. And realize that it is wonderful working in a challenging industry like a call center. And after days of calling you will be receiving the outcome of your endeavor, that family would be the first people to benefit it. Seeing them happy festing food they have, seeing them satisfied with what they ate,I pressume it is one of the greatest treasure be kept. I dont care how tough it is, what i care the most is their smile and hug that softens all the area of my life. It all comes with in. Hearing thank you from them is such a blessing.
So that means in this industry, it never matter's how good you are, what matters alot is on how you take it from your heart.


Because at the end of the conversation, no matter how good you are, how smoothly delivered the words.
Only one question: How can i close this call, to considered as a friendly closing deal.