Living alone if fulfilling,but living independent is necessary. To learn things of maturity,kindness,responsibility, and a survivor in this life. Something to dig in,for every problem that will come into our life is just a challenges wanted to mold us and make us strong.

In this life people said that it is better to be tough, for every thing that would come in your life, you have the capability to lose it, if it is a battle of knife, and the capability to get it, if it is a battle of chance.

This lesson helps me to make up my mind and learned to be strong. In every day life that i had, living in this big city I always think of what would be is the next. A life of a guy which dreamed to be somebody some day. A dreamed that is bursting on my heart, and wanted to be done. But due to some financial dis abundance, those dreams is now stuck up and kept on my own. Hard to think that nowadays I cannot make it into reality. Nowadays I cannot reached it. But the heart of an inspired guy always helped me to think that I can make it one day soon.

The confession of this heart was really deep. In mind and in the heart. So help me LORD.

I was surfing on the Internet a while back,looking for some new friends that would possibly gonna add to my friends list. A friends that would be real in all ways of friendship should be. Well, many people wishes to find real friends that would be true to them and make them smile when they were sad. And I am one of those people.

Dreaming to find a real and true one is really hard in this world. Life that has a constant change. Life that move with out any notification for you to know where the directions is. Such sucking up.
Too bad for me, because I did suffer it.

I was surfing as I had said, finding friends online, and hoping to meet them as well. And start a friendship that would gonna be cool,for the years to come. When I browse to move to another page, I land in a good profile of one guy that makes me curious about his life. An arrogant one, and I think boastful. But since I am looking for a new one,so I just let my self to be patient for me to make friends with him. And that was good idea,cause it happens that we became friends.

So we started our good conversation, sharing some ideas about life and schools, seems things was getting closer. When I asked him if I could visit him tonight. And he said sure, I can visit him. So a while back, I went to his house. It was rainy night and flood was so terrific but still i went to his house and met him. So far so good, the conversation itself, laughing here and there. Until we reached perfume topics. He asked me of what kind of perfume I am using, I asked him why?
He said he just wanna know, but instead of letting him to let me talk, he stopped me and tease me, like I am bitch. Or a stupid one! He was trying to derailed me that since I am using cheap brand of perfumes, and he laughs so loud. I don't know what kind of feeling that I got,feel so embarrassed about it. I look unto my self, and think was so damn. I was really embarrassed.

He asked me, what makes me so silent? But I said I am just thinking about his life in the near future and telling him that something will gonna happen to him great. He was happy, I did it just to change the topic of our non sense conversation. Well it was changed, but it never changes how I feel inside. I was really hurt. It is something that makes my heart crying, felt insulted and got pissed off. The pain that I felt inside keeps telling me to show how insulted I was. Smiling with him and even doing some friendly moves and all the stuff, stopped me from doing it.

Felt so bastard,felt so damn. So I just deiced to leave him alone and go home. He sends me out side of his house. I learned that meeting up some body to become new friends would be hard. The attitude and your self as well. Adjustments counts a lot.