United States of America and other Western countries are known on being conservative and close minded when talking about "same sex married".  

Note: Texas is one of the 29 states that gays can be refused  service!  How rude? In USA only 6 states ban discrimination against gays in adoption of foster/parenting. But this video is actually scripted and the rude waitress was just following the script.

Question :

Something about love, but rejected
For you who is alone and undone
Helpless and depressed of something
Thinking life is worthless.......


Something about fulfillment, but failure
Blurry dreams and a blind passion
A dead investment of  love
Compassion finds no room....

Something about family, but broken
United we stand,but broken when we fall
Thirst and hunger take over
For love and care is all been wishing...


The room of  hope and freedom
Until when the suffering lasts
Until when the emptiness reign
For this life that is full of vain........

Answer :

The battle of life is not for great
nor to the strongest  man
the harder the better it would take
the fulfillment of life is happiness....


To you who is rejected in love
Find no room to be loved
To love yourself has a mansion for it
Because to love is to live....


Life is not for people who succeed
Game is not for people who are better
To win in the game is senseless
If you don't have the effort from doing it.......

The battle is for the unqualified
For people who thinks it's impossible
To you who think cannot make it
To me who failed and depressed...

Think to quit not, chance will come
Luck will drop by, and will make you smile
Success will happen all at once
And it will make you a man............

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It was already too late to celebrate the birthday of my Blog. Actually its birthday was july 26, but then i am not in the mood of celebrating it. So i wasn't able to do the plans which i made way back.

At this moment, making this award i was in the middle of trouble, i went home late and the battery of my phone was empty, i don't know what to do, lurking and finding some resting place to let my eyes relaxed. It is actually my fault, because i didn't went home early,so right now, i am really sleepy tired, so i just went to this cafe and trying to think what else can i do, to wait til the morning comes. It is hard to wait actually. Instead of lurking i better stay at one place then surf. Chat, read, listening to music is all i have now, i felt so damned sad, it feels like i am a prisoner, "hows its gonna be like one"..

So guys i want you kknow that i will be giving YOU  an aaward thar i made. It is special, it talks about friendship as you can see. Just copy and paste it on your web page too, or you can also do some posting thingy on this award. It is up to you.

To you

Jag, feil-kun, Arvin, Angels' little secret, ayu, I am Xprosaic, Glentot, Night Crawler, benh, An_ indecent mind, ced, Daij, Maggie, Sendo,  Lion heart, Angie, Donster, Life, love and lust, D,  Jepoy ......

and many more who drop and write their comments on this blog you can copy and paste this on your blog.. thank you so much!!

thank you so much................

Longing to let you stay
begging to stop you from assenting,
bolt blench to fall
running over in this west wide side.


rashes starts to grow
itchy and painful
my face fades like a morning mists
it was then my dreadful ending.

i wanted to blame you
 for blanching linen in the sun
i am afraid to go
annihilation is pursuing me.

i am afraid riffraff
fetch me up in this window of torment
drench me with your  love
let me feel that i am alive.

pour me a heavy dose of  antedote
i don't want to leave in distress

my breath clunk swiftly
saving myself in cruelty
running in this two edged sword
terrified it might be too late i will  be struck...

We have been declaring that if you have faith in God, it is enough. If you trust Him it is enough. We have been saying that it is not really necessary going to the churches and have fellowships with other believer who believed in Him. But what if i will be asking you some questions, such as this:

Does your faith can save you?
Does God hears your prayers?

Going to the church is a CHOICE. Having fellowship with people who believed in God is a CHOICE. But we should always remember that we need to sharpen our weapon so that when trouble comes, we can surely resists on it. Going to the church to tell you is necessary! It is required that every seventh day, we should rest and give time to God, giving time to your family. But as we see, people were busy going to malls,work, and outing,gimik etc. We don't even think who provides you money to have that gimik, who gives you blessings for you to know that He loves you.

We people used to think, "my money comes from the place where i am working, i work,i do my overtimes,persistent, and i earned it in the hardest way as i could imagine, so there is nothing for you to ask if i need to give time for my self. To unwind."

It is true that  we earned it in a hard way, but did you asked yourself about this:

Who gives you strength?
Who gives you energy to the task?
Who gives you the mind to think well, and achieved that great job?

Did you ever asked yourself about these? You can take it as worthless, but i just wanted to tell you, " What you have right now, is just a dust from God's one foot." It is  about thinking and being so thankful to God that He gives you life and we all know this is the most precious gift we could ever received from Him. Nobody could give this to you. You can have all of those gadgets in this world,money,clothes,anything that your mind could think you owned it, but the true happiness never comes in this material things, but it is having faith with God.

I cannot imagine what would be my life if i never believed in God.According to the dictionary: atheist means 

 a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings. But i just wanted to ask you, until when you are going to be a stupid person who would never believed in God. I would love to agree of what your principles been implying, " we want peace, by not depending on someone, a true freedom in mind in faith,and in our own beliefs." Okay, the you justify your self with this principles? But that doesn't mean you win, it only mean that you are drowning your self more and more into the pit of darkness, into the pit of death. 

 

I don't have any intentions to hurt you,by writing this post. But a true believer of God, are those people who obey his laws, and  and the true believer of God has the fear in the heart. Do we have that?

 

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom.." Let us not claim that we are born again, you might be shocked if  God will tell you this, " you never became a truely born again,instead you become born against."

Let us consider that we are living in a crucial time, as we all know in the second coming of Jesus, there would be a great sound of trumpet. Now i want you to think, " what if you are reading this post then that trumpet sounds, and the world is shaking? And you know that you never ever ask forgiveness to God, what would you do? My friends who will going to read this post " it is our time to ask forgiveness to God, and live according to His will. Because sooner or later he might come like a roaring lion, but it can be like a thief. are you going to sacrifice your life forever living in undying HELL? 

 

It is your time to pray and say sorry to what you have done. God is excited to hear you. Hurry up, the time is almost over. The heaven is at hand!  Try to click here, why did i wrote this post.. 

1: Fuck a boy and he'll love you.
   Love a boy and he'll fuck you.


2: Most men have split personalities;
   they hate cats, but love pussies.


3: The word "naked" and "nude" are not the same.
    Naked implies unprotected. Nude means unclothed.


4: Women give  sex to get love,  men give love to get sex.


5: Common thing between a girl's legs and butter both are 
    delicious when spread.

Centuries and centuries will come, the word  SORRY  will still exist. The evolution will happen again again, but this word will never ever changed. Its meaning and how it should be used. I can say it is a sacred word for human being who wants peace and love.

Sorry means apology. Apology means saying sincerely and accepting your faults, that you made a mistake. Many people said that saying sorry is the hardest thing to do. You need to cut or curl your pride and know the differences. For my self, i know this is hard sometimes, would be hard if i am the one  who was oppressed. To rich people it is hard because they have money, and they have lots of friends. So once they hurt you, it is okay and just left you without saying sorry. So it means, money matters. To a lawyer, saying sorry means you are a quitter. It is better to lose in a court than to say sorry.

My pride sometimes kills me and lead me to graveyard. Its emptiness cover my entire body, i am confused and broken. Another day another fight. I got hurt and hurts people too. My mind says it is unfair for me if i will let them to that. It is hard to be hurt and being left undone. Embarrassed by somebody or being told as worst person he or she ever met is such an insult. This is the scenario if you are in a mood of anger. Such gruesome to be mad always, it creates another wrinkles and another foe.


So now, i realized, how bad i am.. How terrible is my attitude. I bragged things, fight and fight. At the end, i am a loser. A great loser. The things that i have done to people were all wrong. I just realized these things so cruel. I feel i am with Ampatuan, and joining the forces of hell bitchy human who only wants is to spread their worst odor in this world. I am guilty. I feel so trash. I admit that i made a mistake. I hurt you..

AND I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT... I'M ONLY HUMAN...

It's been a while, i am trying to make my self  happy and delete every bad memories that makes me sad this year. For the past months, it's been a hard task. A task of making my self happy, beyond the fact that i am not.

I am sad, longing for someone who impossibly cannot be mine.  I felt crazy, i felt i am damn stupid guy who wished for the stars to shine, beyond the fact that it is rainy night.I am looking for a place, to make myself suitable, I am standing on a bridge, thinking about you each day. I wanna shout and let the   world know  how badly needed you now. I am waiting in the dark, wide open eyes. Dreaming that you will knock the door and i will be excited to open it for you. Then, you will smile at me, hug and cuddle me in bed. Oh, how i wished it will happen again.

But that is all my dream. My dream that sucks. My heart that cries for you. I wanna tore this world. I wanna break the silence that hits me everytime i am alone. The annoyance of this night makes me fool. I convinced my self sometimes, that " we can't be together", yes, somehow i find it okay, but i know most of the time, tears coats my eyes and wept. It is stupid to dream, that is is impossible. But it is more stupid if i will pretend that i am happy, and get over on things that i treasured the most but was gone. It sucks.

I am longning for someone, yes i am. I wish you will take me with you, it's a damn cold night. Take me by  your hands and take me with you! But these words will remain unspoken. Wish it will be.

I  am lurking alone, thinking about life. And trying to make my day cool. The sun is too hot, its rays can burn you down. Dividing my day into 2 ways. Going to a conference for morning, art exhibit for afternoon. Tiring day for me. I make my self busy so that things will not be going wrong. If i will be alone, i know all those bad memories and pain will be remembered. And that is hilarious.

I met this one guy, way back. He is tall and good looking. Thought he will never recognized me from a far, because i know he is busy doing something in the internet. I ignore every stare that he does, and trying to be okay, knowing that the heart beat is really intense and high speedy echoe. White skin complexion and semi blond hair, cute little eyes, everytime he look at me i make it a point, i turned my head down and making my self busy as my fingers were pressing the key board. Pretending that i am. I open my face book, then check all those spams who stays on my house 3 weeks and i need to let them out of the way, before it will be occupied. So i was done..

Whoah, time helps us realized and teaches us to wait. At this time, i am ready to go, when he make his first move of asking me a question. Intact mind, i answered him right and with out any stupid reactions that would happen to me. Thinking that it would be the first and the last question i fixed everything, but he asked me again, then stare that would melts me like an ice. It is an icy feelings, (hehehehe). Then he is trying to build his rapport, and interact with me, so that good conversation will happen. His eyes sparks like a precious gems that i wished to have, intesity 1 million is what i feel.  He told me to have a short conversation, and knowing each other, then be good friends. He is just a local tourist here in Davao. It was his first time visiting the city, so i need to let him know everything.

It is a good conversation- feeling easy and cool. I guess he is really good in convincing people, i was one of them. But lucky enough, if given a chance to touch his red lips! I am sorry i just feel horny that time.(hahaha).But anyway, he asks me evrything about my life, from childhood to date, job and all.Whoah, who is the Media man here i guess its me. Why you kept on asking me now, but i know i cannot deny the fact that i feel different and it is something strange again. Knowing that we just met, and nothing to ponder. Because i know everything is just temporary for us. He lives in Manila. I am here, it would be impossible for us to make it. The time comes that i need to go, an intimate bidding of goodbye, the love and the deisre of touching his lips is now dying. So no chance buddy.

But wait, the movie has its sequel, and it happens that time! I left him, and  he go to  the hotel where he and his friends' were staying. I myself, walked in an alley, passing the lively street with a bad feeling. The voice of the street never speaks on what i feel. Suddenly, the phone rang, oh, i found his number. And he asked me about my location, then ofcourse without any hesitations, i replied saying ( dito pa ako salikod ng hotle, ng lakad, bkit pla?). Then the text message came again, asking me to go back just for a minute. Oh, then i did. When i saw him, i asked him why? but no answer to be found, he hugged and kiss me torridly, the feeling is really wonderful! awesome and fantastic! I love it! The lips that i  wished to have a great kiss, is here now, and we are doing it. The feeling of being unwated had been filled with love and happiness. All thing becomes more visible, and great. The positive side is here and alive.

Now, is the time of realizing that i am happy. Though he went back home, i know i feel the real thing about love. Who are you love, that teaches me this way.

irwin, you makes me so inlove!

Who are you?

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 year old son pick up stone and scratched
on the side of the car.

The  man took the hands of the child and hit it many times.
Not realizing he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.
When the child saw his father, with painful eyes he asked:

Dad when would be my fingers grow back?
the man was so hurt and speechless!
He went back to his car and hit it many times.
Devastated by his actions, sitting in front of his car
he looked at the scratches the child had written.

I LOVE YOU DAD!

The next day the man suicide..

LESSON:

Anger and Love has no limits
choose the latter to have a beautiful life.
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
But the problem in today's world is that,
people are used and things are loved.
During this year, let us be careful to keep this thought in MIND  and  HEART!

I was stranded here at my friend's house for two nights, cannot go home, I don't have the money to travel going back there. The bad thing was I got sick and so tired. I felt so terrible, my feet was aching and I need a massage in order to relax. I just remember my friend before that everytime I got sick he always massage me and help me to be calm. Wow!

But now he gone away. And we don't have any communications nowadays.

But I am just thank ful with my friends, like LADY and GEM, instead of letting me to suffer the pain,they helped me to be calm. Especially Gem, she was the one who massage my feet and buy medicine for me to take.

So now, I am at ease, trying to be strong and hope won't get sick again.
thank you Gem and Lady..

To a toddler, it is just a shelf of his UGLY TOYS,

To a pupil, it is where he/she keeps her BAD TEST PAPERS.

To a teenager, it is a basket case for the letter of an EX- LOVER!

To a writer, it is a file of REJECTED DRAFTS,

But to a STREET CHILD,with a trash can LIFE GOES ON...

P/S: See how blessed we are....

Living alone if fulfilling,but living independent is necessary. To learn things of maturity,kindness,responsibility, and a survivor in this life. Something to dig in,for every problem that will come into our life is just a challenges wanted to mold us and make us strong.

In this life people said that it is better to be tough, for every thing that would come in your life, you have the capability to lose it, if it is a battle of knife, and the capability to get it, if it is a battle of chance.

This lesson helps me to make up my mind and learned to be strong. In every day life that i had, living in this big city I always think of what would be is the next. A life of a guy which dreamed to be somebody some day. A dreamed that is bursting on my heart, and wanted to be done. But due to some financial dis abundance, those dreams is now stuck up and kept on my own. Hard to think that nowadays I cannot make it into reality. Nowadays I cannot reached it. But the heart of an inspired guy always helped me to think that I can make it one day soon.

The confession of this heart was really deep. In mind and in the heart. So help me LORD.

Life has its own time. I will repeat this phrase again, because it now reminds me again of all things that happens to me today, all the stuff that makes me dull and unproductive. Might be the reason of my failure today was my personal feeling,my attitude and the great depression that I have been facing nowadays.

The feeling of being unwanted and undone. The disapproval of my self in this holocaust that now makes me weak. Asking my self where to go, and thinking to sneak out and forget all my friends. And start a new life,living far far away from my them,people who knows me and the situation that carries my self into depression.

Now, this day I am alone facing this monitor, thinking to my self how wasted I am. A lone with out money. Roaming in this city. Nobody wanted to talked to me.

People love to promise-

Every time we met somebody else on the road of our journey we tend to do something that would impress them,and let them think that we an stand to the promises that we release. And sometimes we raise our right hand to prove how sincere we are to them, the words that would let them trust and lean on to the promises.
Well I guess it is good to think that sometimes we need to do so,but somehow if we think that a promise that we said is fragile we have to limit our mouth to said it so, because might be it is the reason for somebody to cry. A reason for somebody to mourn everyday of their lives. And s0metimes a reason for them to quit in the game of life.

It is good to promise,if we know that the boundary itself won't hinder us. If the time won't make a way to stop us, and letting us to realized that it is not all words you can make a promise. Because sometimes,those words that you used to promise would lead you to discover the truth in life.

As for me, I hate people promising me. The word PROMISE is such dangerous word to use.
A hurtful fact that a promise that people had told you won't cannot make it into reality. One reason of your failure.


The reasons of why people failed in everything that they do:

• promise of good life
• promise the he/she be faithful
• promise to be a good friend
• promise of true love
• promise of not leaving you alone.

These are just a few reasons why people failed in their won field. The PROMISE!

P/S: now,would you promise to your love,family,friends, people around you?

Let me share my pain and aches on my heart to you.

All things need love,people,animal, and even nature they need it. Love that would protect,care and show all things in a real way. Feelings that makes the world brighter and the touch that softens the bricks of hardship. A night of prayer,light up the way. Hope that carries you to success, and the freedom show you the path of triumph.

But those dreams were just be a wish. A wish that will never be brought into reality. My hope, that starts to fell down,its drive before was like a fading color that cannot be back again its vibrant and the brightness of its own.
Oblivion is falling down-

My dreams, is there be any reason to be true?

Days passing by now, still thinking all mistakes that I had done to my boy friend. I don't know what I feel. All those lies that I kept on my heart were starting to captures me, I always think bad about my self. Blaming my self of those unfaithfulness that I did to him. It sucks me off everyday.
He never did this to me and I am liar to him. I did promise that I must be faithful and true to him. But now, I lied.

I felt guilty about it, my mind was running after me, and asking me what was the reason why I did it. It bursting inside my heart. I AM UNFAITHFUL! I AM UNFAITHFUL!!

I lied,I lied,I lied,I lied

I lied,I lied,I lied,I lied,I lied,I lied,I lied,I lied

Things were troubling in my mind- I did it! It is my mistake, I wish to tell this to my boyfriend. But I am afraid he will be mad at me, or leave me. Now what should I do?

Hey! i am really happy today, things were doing fine.Well for how many days of waiting, at last i did receive my money from my previous work. Cannot find any better today!Whaoh! at last I can do things which is i wanna do those days that I planned.
Thanks God, I can pay my room now, I can buy food and I think i can watch movie.(hehehehe)
And the best thing is I can pay my payables from my friends who helped me a lot. Thank you friends!!(angie,kuya william,sir skip, and many more,.) Thank you so much for letting me to lend money from you!
God bless you always!!!!

Think this is a tough question for me,(hehehehe). I am just bored today, nothing to do and to write as well.

So i just ask my self, that what is with me?

So I send a letter for my self, since I am alone now. Very lonely. I did send it- Don't know the answer yet, because I will gonna receive it next week.(hehehehehe)

I have a BIG problem nowadays- it is pretty personal but I won't be shy to tell what is this.
I feel so embarrassed but I don't have any choice but to let this out and find better result or a remedy for this. I think it is bad to tell to anybody- gosh it is!!!

But here I am not afraid of letting you know people, that every time I encounter SEX, never felt the great pleasure, a pleasure that body is looking for. and we know that SEX is very wonderful exercise, but somehow I never felt that extravagant feeling of pleasure.

The word SATISFACION is really strange when I have intercourse, not because my partner in sex were not good enough, or whatever it is. But my mind is looking for something that I used to feel the real pleasure before. Such strange for me,because this just new to me,having this feelings of dis satisfaction. Yes I did cum, but the pleasure which is I am expecting for were lacked. I can feel it,but it is really little compared to what I feel before. I am afraid now, my mind is in confused if I have the sex problem, whoah!! that would be terrible. And everytime I masturbated just for me to reach the climax and be satisfied, is really hard for me to achieved it. That was one of the reason, and I found out why is that so- why is it happening to me.

GOSH- I LOVE SEX and I don't wanna be dis abled when it comes in that matter!!!

I am alone on my room,I seldom move and even open my eyes. I just stucked my self on the corner. I felt so wasted and tired today maybe because of the things that we'd done yesterday, and also I slept late night. I always notice this everytime i did sleeping late at night. I am lazy waking up, and I hate to move.
Well, I guess this is dullness and not a habit, I don't wanna be like this everytime, but I cannot control my self of having this traits everytime I was so tired at night and had lots of activities I had done. Hahai, now, I feel better,but has something in mind that wanted to go back to sleep. Just finish eating my lunch and did taking a bath as well. Still tired of moving.

So bad having this today, I think this would be a habit if I won't make any move to stop it.