At exactly,3:18 am, the country mourned of her death. We lost another hero, another icon. She passed due to Cardio Resperatory Arrest. Before she passed away, she was suffering colon cancer, that leads of her death.

She will always be on our heart, her memories will remain fresh in our heart. Her undying love for my country such a huge thing to have.Her contribution as a president cannot be reached by anybody who wants to be a president. Awards here and there-

What's the best of my love president was her kindness and concern about my country, the situation of her people. Sincerity and her faithfulness to God, help her to become noble not just here in my country but all over the world. She open the eyes of millions all over the world, that woman can make great changes to her country. That woman can do what men can. She saved Filipinos from slavery under the administration of late dictator President Marcos,she help poor people to have their own houses.She destroyed gigantic power who wants to kill my country.

Definitely, she made it through.

A woman of power,courage,love,faithfulness,integrity,kindness,and a dearly wife and loving mother to her children. Tita Cory, you are such precious gem of my country. Your love for this country is really huge. Your sincerity of serving Filipinos, was from the bottom of your heart. That is why God blesses you so much.

This woman of courage makes the world witness how woman rules her country with love!
She was featured on TIME MAGAZINE- for 2 times being the first Asian woman became a president. And the most influential woman of all times.

No doubt Tita Cory you are an icon- an icon of love and sincerity!

We love you always, and you will be always in our hearts!

"All things has its own time". This phrase would always refresh my heart, and let me remembered what my dad had told me, we were still living together. he used to told me about how wonderful the life, and how meaningful the success if I made it dear from my heart. A life with passion- a passion for my dreams and a goal to make it real.
Somehow, reaching my dream is such tough thing to do. Hindrances counts a lot. Challenges that would mold you to be come a better person is not that easy. Things, would be higher and higher, tougher and tougher. On the road of struggles you have to learn on how to be strong and be brave to face challenges that you were in list to overcome it. In this place, fear is not allowed. But courage counts in a million ways.

As I grow up, my mind slowly cope all things that my dad told me, when I was young . The real world, real people and the real challenges which I need to overcome. All these are such strange to me. But I still remember his golden words for me,and that helps me to develop my self and gained trust for my self, to deal with the challenges. Well Growing up is wonderful. At this time, I did found out who was my great enemy, my biggest challenge that I need to overcome and that was MY SELF!

My weaknesses and negativity on mind- these are just things that I need to take it away from me.

But developing and experimenting on how to solved problem, whoah! is pretty awesome to do, because you will gonna learned how to do it and how to make it right, to think about everything must be in order. { You better have this attitude}

Learning is a process, nowadays I am happy because I am learning things in a better way. For life has its own time. And all i need is to have the THE GREAT FAITH, AND BELIEVE THAT I CAN MAKE IT! LIFE IS WONDERFUL, LET'S LIVE WITH PASSION!

This is such a busy day today, I do lots of things. Somehow, I myself managed it well. No damn things happened to me this day. Instead whats good is, I audition as a disc jockey and it's cool. I made it.
Last night I really don't know what to do about it, because I never tried this. So far it's wonderful, i did a great job.

I think I just need to be ready enough for new journey that I would been through, another miles and miles of perseverance, courage and patience to make it real this dream that I have.
For now, no boundaries could hinder me to make real. I am happy that they give me a great chance to prove that I can make it..

Thank you GMA!!!

life has its own time, all you need to do is to wait not to find your destiny,because true destiny never be found anywhere.
Because it is inside of you, just need to wait for its time to move, being patient is a virtue,love and courage will strengthen your faith. to make your life wonderful, faith is necessary. necessary for a new changes.
Life has its own time:

a time to start- and a time to end,
a time to sow- and a time to reap,
a time to say hello- and a time to say hello,
a time be brave- and a time to be afraid,
a time speak- and a time to be mum,
a time to smile- and a time to cry
a time to lose, and a time to win the game!

We came together because we are the reason why the world revolved in the orbit.
For everything happens by choice and not by force. Changes happens today not tomorrow. If you decided to be brave then you can decide to win. All things depend on you, not with nature.

Ride with the wind of change. And go where the breeze takes you!!!!

I stay in that house quite long time now, a peaceful place and a wonderful cabin to stay. Relax and unwind is good, even this is just a small place, but it is really cool. Sometimes I brought friends with me and they liked to stay in the place, they said it's cool to be in there. Nobody would disturbed nor make any noise to bother somebody who wanted to relax,such nice place to stay.
Well it is true, it is my one and only place that I love to stay.

But that was before!
Now, it is really terrific place to stay, noise were so loud! There is no place to go, even single silence you can't never have it. No privacy, their annoying voices occupied the place. Starting the time that the young silly man lived in that house, it creates different ambiance to the place.
I think it is weirdo lively house now. Every day his voice makes the house so badly disturbed. He ignited the house with a different noise, It is not something that would lighten the place,but something that would make people being bothered and annoyed with their undying discussions about their studies, life, grammars and everything that may lead them to have a great conversation.
I wanna complained about their vice, but I hesitate to do so, not because they might be mad at me, but because I don't wanna destroy our good communication at home. But it makes me damn bothered with their daily habits.
Silly man, always did opened up their loud conversations, with matching laugh and gigantic yells!
It is really bad to hear. Last night I got so damn bad trip about their habits, they have change their location, they were now staying in the living room, before in the kitchen. So depressing scene. Supposedly I will be sleeping early, but I cannot even close my eyes the reason was their voices that was so huge! I wanna shout them to stop, but cannot make it.
Everyday the same scene I will be witnessing, no changes at all. The same people, husky and loud voices were still be the reason. I don't know what should I do, to make them stop, or even just slower their voices, It bothers me a lot.
I don't know what to do, the place that I love before, now it is the noisiest place to be. Voices destruct its good ambiance. So sad!

• bad trip
• last night events
• fight
• tardiness to woke up
• personal hygiene
• laziness to move
• late sleeping
• hung over
• hungry
• afraid to go to shower
• later habits
• and unproductive today
• I think that's me? I just don't wanna move today, I am tired, don't know what to do as well. I got lots of appointment but I don't wanna move. Stuck up on the corner, such delirious attitude!! I cannot even make it to move my feet to shower, afraid and tired, is always my reason today.. hahai..
  

At last this day is fulfilling! I got lots of things that I've done, it's really productive.
All things that I planned yesterday, was being done and it's now okay.
There is no problem today, for all my concerns was being answered and no harsh things
that happens to me. lol..
Just cannot find any better, all things just flows softly, I went to my previous company
asking an employment record, this thing really makes me suffer thinking it everyday.
Thanks God, it is done.
I was so bothered last time, because my boss really needs it. And wants me to get it as soon as possible.
But now I can breath really huge as the sun, I am just so happy because i will be disc jockey
and that would be final.
Wow, how awesome, break is coming on my way.
All I can say thank you God!!!
At last the wait is over...

As i woke up this morning, it is really bad. I felt so bad at all, i hate to move or do anything I keep
on complaining about my back. Something wrong with this i think so.
It is not easy for me to move and do the things which is i wanna do today.
Last night I go to bed early just for me to relax and sleep well.
Well its good i did sleep well.
But the only wrong thing is I got bothered with my back, I felt there is something inside of it that make me disturb every time i woke up every morning. Such strange because i never felt this before. I think this is one of the sign that i am getting older and older.. lol.
Yeah no joke at all- it is really painful. Upon writing this blog, i am bothered cannot really move well, my friends stare at me and ask of what is happening to me, why i walked so different.
Just cannot do move well because of my back.
I guess this is just a part of growing up. And not growing old. Never! I guess so..
"Because growing up, is learning to be strong, learning to be come a better person. Learning to be a good leader, learning to be a wonderful person. And learning to move forward for the better reason in life.
And Growing old is growing with out any directions, no address to be found. Nor great future. Let us grow up and not grow old with anything we impart to make this world more brighter and brighter.
For better reason to live is to help the world not lose this world!!.."

Something extraordinary happens this hour! hehehe.. In my past blog, I am upset, really really upset. But this one i think this would be better! I guess!!!

He is done with his appointment, and he is now sitting beside me.How sweet! He brought some chocolate cake wow. That is really sweet huh! hmmmm..

Well it is really sweet today, bad trip swept away.. That's the power of choclates it really makes you relax and stay cool. All things that made me sad and bastard was taken away and happiness replaced it!

with you chocolate, I am happy!!!

Afternoon!!!!!!! I'm with my boyfriend. Because this day is his audition for a modeling here in our place. He told me to go to cafe and do some blog thingys as I always did everyday. Just to let the time past to wait for him.
We have waited the person that would interviewed him, i think an hour. That's terrific.

I just let it pass because he is the boss. And i dont want my boyfriend to be mad at me, of waiting that person. If only on me, i would really be mad to that person, but he was the one.
Time passes by, at last his boss will see him.

I went to the cafe, to check my blog and do my job everyday. I am really upset with their computer stuff that is not working well, its mouse was so stupid! It makes me so damn upset!
Upon writing this blog, I am still crazy!!! So I ask the sales lady to let me transfer another station and find a good one. Since i need to pay 11 peso for the rate, I ask her that i have to find another one that is better. What made me upset was she told me that if I will transfer to another station I will be paying 21 peso, because I am using the other one, then i will transfer to the next one.
It is ok, if i will stay for 2 hours, but i will just be using the computer for 1 hour only, and she let me pay that rate. How come? I was really mad ta this stupid cafe!!! Gosh!! so bad trip!!!

This is a cursed cafe ever!!

I used to feel something wrong nowadays. I don't know about my feeling, its kinda crumpy!
It makes me so silly about the things that happens in my life. Seems I am bothered.
Looking for an answer lots of questions in mind.
One of this is my love for my boyfriend. I think i am really fallen in love with him, he really makes me so in love, and i am afraid of losing him. I found it out last night, he never text me, nor inform of what happens to him. I was really afraid, of what is happening to him. I don't know of what i feel.

I wanna cry! Then this morning, i never find his text message on my phone. I got panic. I think he replaced me already! I dont know how i feel about him! this is really strange for me, because before i never felt this way after my late boyfriend passed away. My heart feel the same way as before.

Afternoon came, I never find his text still. I used to text him how many times but i really never got any reply. I just let things to happen, and put in my mind if he will gonna leave me, I must be ready of what would be the next. So that i wont really got hurt.

So wonderful, after taking a bath, when i check my phone, thanks God, he text and call me, but i missed it. So happy that he told me, his battery drained, causing of his charger was destroyed.
I feel so wonderful after that!!
It is really different if you were in love, and feel it really true from the heart.
Budz, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! THANK YOU!!!

I keep it real and that's a promise
I may be a bitch but at least I am honest.
When I walk by, you stop and stare
Well keep looking because I
don't care.
I have my own life and style.
Not trying to please you or makes you smile!
When it comes to competition you are out.
Now shut your hatin AZZ...
And keep me out of you Mouth!
F*CK THE FAKE!!!!

I am who i am
I do what makes me happy
I live for me
not you.
You may not agree with me
But i am not seeking
your approval.
I am happy with all that
I AM...

a night to remember, happiness over rules the place, laughters and screaming makes the lonely night alive.

We are currently doing our teaser for our new TV show. Yes a TV show, that is in our local tv area. As a new comer it is really hard to make this kind of industry that we are now. So hard to make whats next to do.

All are bloopers.. and everything. Its kinda hard to make it through, but i know we can do it!!!!

GO GO GO TEAM!!!

Look how wonderful is this picture? this is magnificent work!

courtesy by erick!!!

My friend and I, used to tackle about SONA of PRESIDENT GLORIA ARROYO, i ask her what is her opinion about her upcoming SONA.

She stared at me and smile. I wonder why that kind of gesture she showed at me. Maybe a little bit confused about my question, because I never asked her about any political issues and national issues in our government.

It's not about curiousity why I did ask her about SONA, but it is because I wanna know her side, for this isssue. Something strange? hmmmm...

She answered at me and said: I GOT 1 THING TO SAY ABOUT SONA-

" fairytale is a story tells by a dwarf, that there were no truth. Sona, there is a dwarf who never tell the truth about the story". hehehehehehehe..

Life has it's own changes. The changes that might be the reason of forgetting some one. Neither be the reason of letting go, but all i can say that this is something that you dont wanna stay on you.
So sad, that most of the people did this. Forgetting someone, because of some stupid reason about their fellings. hahai.. I know they got their feeling and they must ignore this as well. But the only wrong thing was, they instilled on their mind of letting you out and never be think back again.

I wonder why, this world has this kind of perception. FORGETTING!!!!

So sad to people who were being left emptied. Tears were falling. And I know how hard it is.

It's not moving forward, that would help you, but settling somethings before you left would heal the pain and make the way brighter.

To wipe the tears and comfort somebody that will be left is necessary, because It's not that easy to be left and undone. Wasted time and effort, bullshit and makes your day always damn!

To people who always did this somebody, hope you will realize how hard to be left undone..
Hope you will realize how stupid to mourn each day. Like a crazy dog, its saliva always falls with nothing to gain. Instead pain cope up the world!!!! And the depression that makes life horrible.

If you LOVE just to hurt somebody and makes their life terrific. You better dont do it. HEY FELLAS! IT'S A WASTE OF TIME!!!!!!

This day I live like a billionaires life. Not that I own wealth but I own something more than wealth, more than money in the bank and whatsoever treasure that the world have. This is something a great fulfillment for me,as such I must prove to you, why this is more than gold and any luxurious treasure that the world have.
All things will be owned if you know how to find it dearly from the bottom of your heart, but this one that I have today is different, if you don't know what to do and how to get this one you better stop. Because it is a waste of time to make it through. For this is a serious matter as well.
I am talking about LOVE. Now this day I am really really happy, I am writing this blog with my boyfriend. He sits besides me, and we are happy staring each other.
A great feeling that i feel today can never be paid by any amount of money, nor treasure that the world have. That is why I better be in love and live a simple life than living like a king but empty hearted! that is the worst life I would have. So meaning in life it is not necessary you got money, if you are not happy to have it. Better to have LOVE, for it will help you to find a better life, than lacking it.
For love will heals the world and make the sun shines. Heals the broken hearted And make the earth dream!

<<<<<<>>>>>>

A while back,I am sitting with peers in one of the restaurants here at our place. It's a good conversation at all, a place is really wonderful to stay and relaxed. It makes your mind stay in the mood of something that will evolved, to think about wonderful things that happens in life.

While we were talking, it is seems just a simple way as it is always, laughing and sometimes tease each other. Talking about our coming projects to come and be ready on how to make it through.

Suddenly the music was played. And it Charice Pempengco's first major song for Hollywood. And in fact it landed as number 44 in US Billboards 100 Hundred List, so it just shows that this song is really good to hear and wonderful. It's A NOTE TO GOD- I listen the song really dear from my heart, friends were talkin' but just ignore them and focus on to the song that was being played. The message itself was so touchy and I dont know why my heart felt something different about it.And I realizes how wonderful it is, each messages tore my heart and think its bleeding inside.

I really believe that sometimes songs help you to realize how awesome the life. It sometimes as well open up the eyes of the people who were looking for JUSTICE, FREEDOM, CARE, LIGHT, and mostly is LOVE.

These are the things that we lacked when we are in failure, in vain and a loser. If we can wrote a note to God, I really conclude that all things that you would speak that is in your soul, it is the HATE that would be swept away.

For Love to overflow- Asking for WAR to END- For PEACE to mend this world-

And asking Him to give us the strength to make it through, help us find love cause love is over due, because so much is goin' wrong in this road were on. To help us find a way, to end BITTERNESS and put some TENDERNESS in our heart. And tell him to give us HOPE, cause hope seems gone.

Because God, we can't do this on our own! No we can't! So JESUS HELP US.!!!!

This message make my night really different. Something I would never think it will happen to me. It's an evaluation how far I am from him. For that I will give you her latest single.

Thank you Charice for singing that wonderful song for US!!


tim

I am now in the middle of confusion upon writing this blog, trying to make it awesome, for readers to hear my part. It is time for people to talk, the world is over, the time for judgement is near.
Speaking with judgment
it is such a terrific way of expressing our selves. Of what we feel towards anything or to anybody.
I was walking in a small alley, when I met one little lady. She is a type of a girl that I would never expect she can do it.
Nobody know who she was. Away from us, she is really cute and I think an awesome creature that God had blessed for the world. Definitely she is. But I never expect she will be the worst little girl that I would encounter, as she goes by it is a peaceful pathway. I am holding my phone, cause someone's texting me. I laughed so loud! While I am doing it, She turned back at me and ask if She was the one I did tease of what ever she thinks of.
I explain that she was not the one, and I never did laugh at her. I told her that it's on my phone . the message that I received. But she never stop asking me why did I laugh at her, she said that I am insulting her. I couldn't believe how horrible that situation was. For me that I dont wanna destroy my wonderful day, I just let it passed. And go on my way.
She judge me so horrible, she thought I laugh at her. Well it's the nature of the person to judge. It is not something that you are protecting your self, but it is the insecurities that burned inside of you. Because you your self did it to somebody.
It means what you sow, is always what you reaped!

There were always be hard thing to face, a challenge to overcome along the way. It is something to learned on how to loose our enemy. A game of life is really hard, but there were no way out, nor a place to escape and live peacefully. because no matter how hard it would be, there always be a way, a remedy to solved it.
Now is always the best time to make it, to face it.
"LIFE IS A JOURNEY, IT CAN TAKE YOU ANYWHERE YOU CHOOSE TO GO, AS LONG AS YOU'RE LEARNING YOU'LL FIND ALL YOU'LL EVER NEED TO KNOW".

You can make it, you can break it. Just don't go forsaking your self, no one can stop you!

It is only courage that is needed to make it to the top, a great faith for the better life is the best weapon to beat the odds. There are no boundaries that would stop you to reached your goal if you know you can make it.
Success never demands power, it only ask for perseverance, the prudence, patience and the willingness to pursue.
To get the best way out of it.
Challenges counts, but lesson from it can never be paid. It will always be the best treasure to owned in this life.

Its been a while I haven't found the good one- I think to my self that maybe it will just come in a right and accurate time. So then there were lots of things that happened along the way. Hindrances
and sometimes a bad experience when we talk about love.

All I can say" I just waste my time for the past relationship that i had. Its all worthless to think".

Some lessons that I learned, on how to handle and make relationship works in a wonderful way as it must be always. Though challenges counts a lot, we must think that it is a part of our struggle to make relationship flows well in the middle of its time.

Learning to love some one is the most tiring thing to do. But when you both willing to be open and make love to flow in a possible way,it would be wonderful to think of. And when you see how far you did go, such a nicest treasure to be own.

As I learned to love maturely, without any doubts nor hesitations to someone that is willing to give and spare time with me, all I can say " I did grow up, when it comes managing relationship and let it grow as it must be always".

Definitely, I AM THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. BECAUSE I FOUND SOMEONE WHO COULD BE WITH ME, AND WILLING TO SPARE TIME WITH ME. WE BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER AND I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL LAST. FOR WE HAVE THE FAITH AND LOYALTY TO BOTH OF US!

By the way i would love to introduce to you my love BUDZ-

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY THAT I FOUND YOU. THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE AND THE TRUST. YOUR SMILE WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST. IT ALWAYS HEALS MY PAIN. THANK YOU BUDZ- I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE....

Rumor will always be my twin. And hindrance cover me, almost over. Now I am living alone, i am alone and alone- I don't know where to go, all my dreams were taken away from me. And i wanna know who is the main suspect for this incident. I ask my self, well I will always be the main suspect of what will gonna happen to me.

I used to react, and make a damn thing to fight back. Throw words that might be the reason of my BIGGEST FAILURE IN LIFE... I am a loser if will burst out, but i will be the reaper if wont react.

This is really one of the hardest test of time, for TIM to solved. This things confused me, and make my mind tilt.

What's with TIM? - to be afraid of failure? - to be insecure? - to think i am alone? - to think you I am not handsome? - to think conscious? - to think I'm a great loser? - to think negative? - to think I CANNOT DO IT? -to be afraid to try? - to be afraid to go on? And what is in LIFE, that TIM, afraid to have. In fact it is all given, and it's up for grab.


Now tell me??????____________________________________....

This is another challenge for me on how to make this blog totally wonderful. The things that I need to do, were really hard for me, as a new comer. This seems like in a show business huh! Explore alot, and learn every suggestions that my blogger peers had told me so. I would love to make it easier but as a new comer it is hard to make it well. But i believe that once you never stop learning to do it, something extra ordinary will be gained. And that is the knowledge that would help me to make it easier later, when the days passed.


I believe what Oprah says, she said that;" In life, it is not always being IMPOSED, it is always being LEARNED." For the outcome of learning is a great life. So being a new comer I have to learned the drive and tricks to make this blog alive. Because when this blog would gain wonderful crops it is really good to evaluate how far i would go through.

Because ,"IT IS ONLY BY GREAT BELIEVE, WORLD WILL BE CHANGED"..

There was once a little dreams,a fantasy since I am a kid. I used to dream of having a great power a magic, which I could changed my self into a different one, or I will be invisible to anybody. Nobody would noticed me, especially my friends. To sneak out, that my dad would never know I did it. And talking to a non human being. And be friends with them-

Well it is just a desire of my little dream. That means is to be happy and live the life happily ever after. I used to think it that way- I don't know if I am a creepy minded one, but I feel a little bit of it even nowadays. Kinda weird definitely, but its a power of my imagination even at my age today. And the FANTASY that brings children to think something extraordinary about what is really magic means? So then, the world of animations and fantasy rises all over the world. The rapid production of these make easier to children and even old ones to be fanned of this life. Assummingly this is true, but that is all in the power of a writer and a director. their minds has the capacity to turn your own into a wonderful scenarios, to think this world would be forever. ?And ending would never happened ever.

Harry Potter( the movie) is one of the example! As I watched it, all creatures seems convinced me that they were all true. All were moving and making a wave to the way of life, all these has a great impact to the present life today, for me to you and to all-
Giving you an example about it,The love that burst all over the school of magic, they were all now mature and they feel LOVE to somebody in the cast. And the main problem would be DUMBLEDORE, we know that he is the head of all the good witches in their place. So now the HOGWARTS is facing a great problem, because DUMBLEDORE is dead. He was attacked by the bad witches which led by-LORD VOLDEMORT the leader of the bad wizard, that caused of his death. The school of magic was mourning, how can they faced the demons, now that their Head was dead. Well that is the best feature that we need to wait for the next chapter of it. So the Harry Potter mania would be ready for what is the NEXT! Better watch out for that-

This movie makes people to woke up and save their money just to watch it, the power of this movie makes all people to nod and wait for the next chapter. Well no doubt it is fantastic, it is interesting! The entertainment they brought for us, is really huge and gigantic. Their nerve wracking expeditions and magics will loosen up the world. This is seemed to be the unforgettable movie of all time. I tried to ask people about it especially kids. I was so amazed, I don't know all the cast of this movie but them, they all memorized it well! Enticing!

It is a one of a kind movie that people must see! There magnificent power to turn your head on, is really awesome. The power and its own magic that lead the world into a different life, full of actions and adventure.

As I grew up, fantasy becomes the mouth of my peers. Somehow, magic will just remain as a fantasy, though rumor comes out that this is true. Proof counts, I my self I haven't see it yet, a flying wizards and a shining armor of winks, the castle the dwarfs and every living creatures that helps fantasy to be alive. Yes, it is a fantastic world. A non ending dream, and a power of love whom make this world captured the hearts of the viewers.

This is an award winning film, which helped actors to be famous. And gathered awards for the movie. Astonishingly beautiful, the arts and creativity softens the heart of millions of viewers.
This kind of movie, such make its own mark.

They could turn your mind in one click, I don't know if I can say this is an elusive dream but all were convincing. In this life truth matters a lot, but when it comes in the movie- specifically in a FANTASY WORLD It never matter if it is fact or lie. That means in entertainment doesn't matter if it is true or not as long it makes people smile, it would be wonderful.

A lesson that I learned from this movie that would be, it is not something real would make world to notice you, its the drive of your self that would help you to conquer the world.

Live life wisely-

Stepping up to another horizon, is always wonderful as it is. The people, job, escapades and the things that would happen in this way of life.

To start in a new path, is always awesome! Isn't it? Well I guess it is really awesome. In life it is always necessary to move on, to go forward, might be there were hard times to do so, but it is essential for growing up, as well as to be come mature. And to let the things happened as just a wonderful memories that would just gonna be reminisce d, and look beyond.

As always my dad use to implied on my mind, I must be better everyday, improvements is a must. Because in this world it is always a tough competition, there were no excuses nor exceptions for every person is intitled to execute. Might be, it is hard to understand, but for the people who had been through this way, they could comprehend it in a better way. So meaning every person is a performer. We are.

Somehow I myself use to think how crucial and hard the way that I would be walking on. Along the way I might feel tired or be exhausted, It will always be my fear to go beyond. Fear is coating me up. Maybe I feel this way, because of things happen to me way back. It is one of the reason, i think so why did i feel this way.

I did suffered discrimination, derailed by somebody and even mocked. I cannot even focused unto things that I am good, instead I consider my self as a loser. A great great loser! Nobody praised me then, nobody told me I am good. So every words that they used to threw on me, was being kept in my heart and mind.

Although i excel in my class, it is not really enough to cope up all things in one click. Sometimes those effort became useless as always happened, became a point of fire to burned up. I don't know why.

Recovery always happen, I try to learned to praised my self, care about what I have done, and the best thing i did I LEARNED TO LOVE MY SELF. It is fulfilling and very wonderful to have.
So then, it helps me to be persistent and to persevere of what I am doing. To pursue my dreams and make it possible.

Dreams that enlighten my heart to be strong and conquer the world,though there were times I felt damn and wasted, but I can determined there is changes happening on my life. And for that I am greatful! At least in a little way somethinng happens to me and it is good.
I learned to smile, and deal with wise people that would help me to know more about life.

So for now, I am enjoying life! Because I am inteded to be happy! I will update you of what is going on with my life, as long as I have wonderful thought in mind.

This past days, I have been facing different emotions, I got lots of trouble done,hassle mind, bothered, It sparks all i my mind. All things makes me damn. It makes me uncomfortable to deal with people. My emotions leads me into a different level of confusion.

I dont know what to do. Upon writing this blog, it sucks up all in my heart and mind.

Here is the reason why it is happening to me-
I am in love in a different way, I dot know where to position my self. Seems all the feelings that i have never been ignore by some one who i wanna spend my life. It is really terrific to think, nowadays I have been facing lots of depressions, it sucks up all in my heart. You know what I lost my job, due to some reasons, i dont know where to find again. I love the job that i have though.
I dont know how to start back again. Maybe I just need more courage to make it through.

Despair wrapped me all over, my mind was so bothered. The mix emotions i have really affects me so terrible. I just run out of time thinking what to do then. All things gone out wrong.
I ask my self what to do, for this time it is hard for me to move. I got lots of things to do then, but I dont know where to start, where to go, I am alone for the whole of my life.

I have been facing this alone, it is such a different life i have now. All things must be in a good way of managing it. If not, that would be another holocaust of my life. And i wish you joy and happiness. Above all this i wish LOVE.
Love that would wipe all tears in my heart. Might be people didnt see it but I am bleeding now.
My friends use to say" i can do it" but i dont know.
I think i just need more reason to survive.
Love that would heal the pain I have inside,brokenness, fragility and weaknesses i have.

The question now..

How to find it, where to find it, and what should i do to have it? ???
It is terrible feeling i felt inside.
please help me..